Bit By Bit, We All Fall Down
by BootstrapBoula
Summary: Why can Harry be the only one with a hard life? Why can Harry be the only one to ever complain? Why can Harry be an insensitive prat, and no-one even cares? Well I'm tired of it. I'm sick of being good ol' Ron, always there for his mates. It ends here.


**Disclaimer:** You all must know I'm not J.K. Rowling, and that I don't own her characters.

**A/N:** I wrote this when I was kinda pissed at my friend...kinda a lot. I for some reason thought my situation could relate to Ron. I don't like to re-read my work, so theremay possibly be some mistakes, I hope you don't mind. And if you think Ron is out of character, well, this is just my inerpretation of him, so to me he's very in character...

* * *

He stepped into the bathroom and looked at his reflexion in the mirror.

_What's the hell? _He thought. _I just spent 5 hours with someone who just kept complaining and complaining about his whole damn perfect life_.

He started to wash his face.

_Okay, not perfect, but way more perfect than mine. He thinks he's so sad and so depressed and he doesn't know what's going on with him. Yeah, well he thinks I 'm not? He thinks I do? He can't **possibly** think that! I'm way worse of than he is. Yeah, okay, he was raised in a stressful situation, but I wasn't! my family has to struggle to make ends meet! And sometimes they don't even meet!_

He peeled off his jeans and sweater.

_Home life wise, I think we're tied. UGH! Will he ever stop complaining about that stupid Cho Chang! Okay, I get it, you're not together anymore, you want her back, but you also don't. you're confused. Whatever, mate. At least you've _had _someone. At least you've had someone who liked you as more than a friend. Have I? No! geeze, has that guy have no respect for me at all. He goes on and on complaining about his girlfriend troubles, meanwhile, I've never had a girlfriend! _

He got into the shower.

_But do I say anything to him about it? Nooooooooo! I just sit there the whole time nodding and saying, "aw, that sucks," "really? That's horrible!" and "Don't worry Harry, I'm sure she still likes you." God, I'm such a coward. If I had any guts at all I'd just stand up and say, "you know what Harry? I've never had a fuckin girlfriend! No'one's ever liked me! I don't care about your problems, I **don't** feel sorry for you, and I can't help you! Why don't you go talk to your precious Sirius, I'm sure he can help you…"_

He felt nothing as the water splashed onto his face.

_No, I like Sirius, it's just that…well…no one likes being replaced, even if they're starting to get sick of the person who's replacing them. _

He signed. Water poured into his mouth and he spit it out.

_The truth is, I still like Harry, just not the new Harry. I like to be depended on, as corney as that may sound. But with Sirius and Cho and Ginny and Hermione…Hermione…God how I want her. But between Krum and Harry…not that Harry has a big chance with her, but he sure is more open with his feelings than I am. Whenever she does anything remotely affectionate, he jumps right in there. But I can't even give her a proper hug. I really gotta learn how to flirt. But the problem with me is, I'm afraid. Oh, there's that fear again. Ha, you sound like a novel or something, your rant has a theme._

He rolled his eyes.

_I'm afraid of expressing my true feelings. Afraid of rejection. Even afraid of killing myse- No, I won't say it. I won't do it. That's the "cowards way out", right? Pfft, coward my ass. I say the supposed "cowardly" thing is actually the stupid thing. I mean, who would let themselves live a life where no girl wants you and you're a human stress ball for all your friends._

He stepped closer to the shower-head as he went to rinse his hair. As he did, he suddenly got an urge to just fill the tub with water and let himself get emerged with it. He leaned down to turn the shower off, and the tap on.

_Snap out of it!_

He did. He stood up straight again and began to rinse his hair

_I wish I could just do it. Get out of this life where I'm expected to play psychiatrist to Harry where all I really want to do punch him. I can't believe I'm thinking all this. When I see him in the dorm, how am I gonna act though? Like none of this ever happened. Like everything between us is a-okay. I'm such a liar and a fake. Why can't I just tell people the truth about what I've been feeling lately? What did my parents _do_ to me to make me unable to show my true emotions. I hate being the happy, funny, one. Why can't I be like Harry and explode at people every 5 seconds. That's what I'd _really_ like to do._

As if spurred on by his thoughts, tears started to slowly fall from his eyes. For once, he didn't wipe them away, he just let them fall, only to be washed away by the hot water. However, like always, the tears only lasted a few seconds anyways.

_Pfft, I can't even be _physically_ emotional for too long. What's wrong with me? It's like I'm dead inside. I might as well be, I'm already invisible. I can't believe that girl today. "Hey, you're Harry's friend! The red haired one! Oh, isn't Harry just great? I don't believe any of the rumours about him, he's too noble and brave and…" blah blah blah blah blah. I don't care! The red haired one? Is that all I am to people? A mass of red hair? Is that why they don't like me? Is it because of my hair? Well all my brothers have had girlfriends, so it's obviously not the hair! _

He had already dried himself off , and changed into his pyjamas. He didn't bother to brush his hair this time after his shower.

_I_really_ don't care anymore._

He began to brush his teeth.

_It must be my personality. I'm too…something. I don't know, I don't really care either. The point is, no-one likes me. Well you know what, why should I like them either? Tomorrow, I'm not gonna bother to be nice happy side-kick Ron anymore. If I feel mad when I wake up, no hiding it, I'll act mad. if I feel depressed, same deal. Pretending is just pointless now. _


End file.
